Are you a closet pendulum?
Raise your hand if feel like this. And that.
STATE OF MIND
STATE OF HEART
Everyday you wake up you don’t know which way you’re going to swing.
You make up your mind and then out of nowhere you swing a complete 180 degrees. Poof. Just like that. Rinse and repeat about 10 times a week.
Here is what your mind goes through on a regular day:
People call you moody. The less charitable ones call you erratic; and the ones who want to wound use the F word: flaky.
It hurts deep down inside because the last thing you want is to come off as unreliable. In fact, all you want is to be an upstanding sort of person that knows their mind and can tell it where to go and what to do and when to sit and stand and generally obey instructions like all properly trained, house-broken, good old minds should do.
You yearn to be more “collected”, like those folks who have it all together. The kind about whom people say, “Oh, Neel? He’s a right old stick in the mud. You can’t make him change his mind.” Or, “Shiela? She’s straight as a square.”
Except, your reality is far removed from your expectations:
So you surround yourself with people who are “sorted” in the hope that some of their normalness rubs off on you because all you want is good, old fashioned boring-as-bejesus stability in your head space so you can move through life with your dignity intact. Not bouncing off the walls like a loose cannonball.
But unfortunately for you, your mind has a mind of its own, so it changes more often than the sensex changes points. Which would be fun except it plays havoc in your life- missed opportunities, mixed signals, not knowing whether you want ketchup on your burger or not, getting yelled at by people for being so exasperating.
Your loose-as-a-cannonball mind shoots you up giddy giddy heights, then plunges you in icy cold despair. And its only after it’s been on the Columbus ride a couple of times that it slows down to normalcy.
The flipside of having so much drama going on inside your head is that you come off as spaced out to others (yes, others can tell). It’s hard to be present when an intensely dramatic soap opera is playing inside your head and you can tune in whenever you want. Unfortunately, sometimes the switch flips on when you don’t need it to and you have to drop everything to watch the drama unfold.
While your mind is having a field day on its roller coaster ride you could be sending out the wrong message to someone and hurting them. But the worst damage you do is to yourself because you just don’t know your own mind. It’s no fun having to wake up every morning and not know which way you’re going to swing. It’s exhausting. It’s draining. It’s enough to get your head spinning and you don’t know what to do.
At this point Neel and Shiela will look at you uncertainly, trying to figure out if you’re just plain dumb or you actually can’t see the solution staring you in the face. Once they decide there’s a good chance you could be dumb, they’ll burst out, “Just stop changing your mind!”
Which is well-meaning advice, but like all well-meaning advice it spectacularly misses the mark.
We’ll discuss how and then thrash out the details of a more effective plan to transform your mind from an undignified loose cannonball to a on-top-of-its-shit mind in How Not To Be A Human Yo-Yo Part 2.
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